What I Learned After a Year of Being Coached: 10 Lessons That Changed My Life
Alyssa is sitting in a wooden chair, writing in a notebook.
I know that as a coach, I should probably be telling you why my coaching will change your life. Instead, I’m here to tell you why the coach I hired for a year changed mine.
The lessons I share here are my own. And if you choose to embark on your own coaching journey, the lessons you learn will likely be different. But I can guarantee this: they will be just as meaningful and just as powerful.
This is a question I get often: What will I gain? What is coaching, really? What do I even talk about in a coaching session?
My investment in myself feels too big to let these reflections go unsaid. And in the process, I hope you might find something here for yourself too.
Maybe this becomes a window for you. If you’ve ever wondered what’s possible when you commit to your own growth, let these lessons be proof that change is within reach.
And maybe—just maybe—it will also inspire you to find a coach who can support your growth in 2026.
I’m writing this more for myself than for any audience. I want to look back one day and remember what I gained, what shifted, and how I grew.
10 Lessons That Changed My Life
Learning to Redefine My Worth
1. My Worth Is Not Tied to My Productivity
I discovered that my worth isn’t tied to how much I do. Rest and stillness are allowed. For a long time, I believed I had to prove myself by doing more, serving more, and being more and it left me exhausted.
In one powerful session, my coach said, “You know you’re worthy, regardless of what you do or don’t do.” My brain couldn’t comprehend that statement at the time. It took months of sitting with it, working through it, and gently challenging old beliefs before I could truly see my worth without qualifiers.
When that belief shifted, I gained freedom. Freedom to make choices for myself. Freedom to choose things that supported the life I wanted to build, rather than the life I felt I had to earn by doing more, being more, achieving more.
2. Trusting My Intuition
I learned to recognize and trust my intuition. I now know what it feels like when that inner voice speaks up. Before, I second-guessed everything and searched for validation outside of myself. I would ask for everyone’s opinion before I stopped to ask for my own.
We spent time exploring where feelings show up in my body, and what I learned is that my “gut” is my center. For years, especially as a mom, I put everyone else’s needs before my own. With enough time and conditioning, I lost the ability to answer the question, What do I really want for myself?
Now it’s an embodied practice. When I feel overwhelmed or unsure, I place my hands over my belly and ask a clear yes-or-no question. The answer is often immediate and unmistakable. The real work is deciding what I do with that answer.
Listening to Myself in New Ways
3. Checking in With Myself First
Through the process of coaching, I began asking what I need before pouring out to others. Instead of running headfirst into burnout, I now pause and listen to myself. In the past, I didn’t even think to ask that question.
This is still a work in progress—aren’t most things? It’s easy to get swept up by my calendar and the next task. And as caregivers, we don’t always get to put our needs first. But we can make time for our needs, and there is an important difference.
It’s not an all-or-nothing game. I see too many women, including myself, abandoning what they need simply because they can’t have it immediately.
What I’ve learned is that there are infinite possibilities. We just have to be open enough to see them, brave enough to explore them, and gentle enough to let go of the one path we thought we had to follow.
4. Emotions Are Information
I’ve come to see emotions as messages worth listening to. Fear, sadness, and anger aren’t signs that something is wrong with me instead, they are signals asking for attention. Before, I judged myself for feeling them or tried to push them away.
Now I ask questions like, What is this emotion trying to tell me? What does it want for me? Often, what surfaces is a desire for protection, safety, or understanding.
As I write this, I’m aware of how “woo-woo” it might sound. It felt unfamiliar to me too when I first started coaching. But working with different parts of ourselves including with the older, wiser, more loving version of ourselves, has helped me move forward in ways logic alone never could. It’s allowed me to hear what my body and mind have been trying to say, and to move through life feeling more integrated and at peace.
5. Moving My Body Helps Me Heal
I realized my body is a powerful tool for processing emotions. Walking, stretching, and exercising help me release what I’m holding. For years, I tried to think my way through my feelings, and it only kept me stuck.
In 2026, one of my goals is to move my body every day. Some of my clearest thinking happens while moving, and it helps emotions move through me instead of staying trapped. Local friends, I’m always up for a walk!
Rediscovering My Voice and Vision
6. Reconnecting to My Mission and Voice
I reconnected to my mission of helping women and reclaimed the confidence to share my voice. Before, I felt hesitant, quiet, and unsure whether what I had to say mattered.
I worried about what people would think. (And they either already had an opinion—or none at all.) But staying in my lane, not rocking the boat, and holding back what was really on my heart kept my voice, vision, and life smaller than they needed to be.
My coach often reminded me that when I deeply connected with my mission, everything else would follow. The tasks would become clearer. The effort would feel lighter. Now, when something feels hard, I check in on the purpose behind it. That clarity helps me distinguish what’s meaningful and aligned from what isn’t.
7. Claiming the Importance of Money
I finally acknowledged that money matters to me. It represents security in my world, and claiming that truth feels grounding and honest. For a long time, I felt like caring about money—or talking about it—was something women weren’t supposed to do.
What sits beneath money for me is stability. That’s my driving motivation (hello, Enneagram 6). Claiming and working toward the security money can provide is not something to apologize for. We are all worthy of receiving.
8. Gathering People Is My Superpower
I recognized that gathering people is one of my gifts. I love creating invitations, building community, and helping others feel welcome. In the past, I didn’t see this as a strength. Now I know it’s something that sets me apart.
I’m leaning into this in many ways. As 2025 closes and 2026 begins, I feel deeply energized by creating spaces for vulnerable, authentic conversation. I believe meaningful connection happens when we gather with intention and connect beyond asking, “how’s the weather.”
In 2026, I plan to host community gratitude dinners and other gatherings where people arrive as strangers and leave as friends.
Designing My Life
9. Clarity on the Life I Want
I’ve become clear about the kind of life I want to live. My vision feels grounded and aligned. Before, everything felt cloudy and distant—always something for “someday.”
Now, I’m making intentional choices and putting that vision into practice. For 2026, some of those commitments include daily movement, time to cook nourishing meals, shutting work down at the end of the day to be present with my family, and saying no more often so I can say yes to what truly matters.
10. The Power of Sacred Space
More than anything, I experienced the gift of being held in sacred space. My coach believed in me before I believed in myself, reminding me of my value when I had forgotten it.
Her unconditional regard for my thoughts, feelings, and ideas was support I didn’t even know I needed. My constant stream of thoughts finally had a place to land—with someone who saw value in them before I did. Most importantly, she helped me develop my inner leader, my inner knowing, and the self-trust to live the life I once only imagined.
Final Reflection
Rachel Naomi Remen wrote in Kitchen Table Wisdom:
“Because the places where we are genuinely met and heard have great importance to us. Being in them may remind us of our strength and our value… They remind us of our value as human beings. They give us strength to go on. Eventually they may help us transform our pain into wisdom.”
That is exactly what coaching has done for me.
Coaching gave me lessons that changed not just my career, but my life.
My Love Letter to My Coach (and an Invitation to You)
In so many ways, this is a love letter to my coach, Valeyne Grotian. Thank you for holding space for me, and for always seeing the best and highest version of me, even when I couldn’t see it myself.
My coaching journey helped me transform and heal in ways I never thought possible. And I want the same for other women.
If you’re a woman who’s ready to:
Stop tying your worth to productivity
Trust your intuition
Create space for yourself without guilt
Gain clarity around the life you want to design
…then coaching might be for you too.
I offer 6-month 1:1 coaching packages. It’s the same kind of space that changed my life and it can support yours as well. If you’ve been longing for clarity, and the courage to design a life that truly feels like yours, coaching might be for you too.
Let’s connect and explore whether coaching is the right next step for you.